The sales pitch of first date. Awkward. Mechanical. Practiced and tired like you’re not even sure you beleive what you’re selling has value anymore.
She’s only 3. ish. But she wears the world comfortably, as if it were hers. Climbing over everything. Going up to strangers. As for the world, it probably is. I guess it will be. It belongs to people like that. There’s a certain amount of charm associated with that level of presumption–that level of unapologetic existence.
The type of person that takes a book to a coffee shop as a prop, and pretends to read it. Distracted every ten seconds by people that may be watching them. Phone strategically placed at the bottom of the book, so people won’t notice when their eyes scroll through that instead of the text on the page. You know the type?
And this person is usually intelligent. And I guess that’s the frustrating part. There are more authentic, subtle, and less eye-roll inducing ways to display a quality intellect.
I ask a lot of questions. And they’re good questions. And you’ll answer, and I’ll contribute and we’ll explore the implications, and you’ll be tempted to keep talking, and you’ll be surprised that you’re sharing so much. And the nature of my questions and the extent of your answers will make you feel as if I find you especially interesting. And I might, but I probably don’t. I’m curious about everyone. And eventually, I’ll think I figured you out, and you’ll seem predictable, and regardless of whether or not that’s true, my curiosity will start to dwindle, but you’re used to me asking questions, and in our conversations, you’ve been conditioned to be lazy or self-indulgent; you never really ask anything. You made a lot of assumptions. And you thought I cared more than I did, and I’m sorry but not completely because you should know that people like to be known. And your self-indulgence is boring. And feeling like it was my responsibility to motivate all of our conversations was lonely. And I know it’s not fair, and I know I set you up for failure, and that’s the pattern and that’s how it goes. But I Just want to learn. So if the only time I’m being challenged is when I’m first figuring you out, then our relationship wasn’t going to work out anyway.